February 2011
i feel so fucking anxious and nauseous.
i can never sleep.
as much as i love lomography and their website, their holgas are ridiculously over priced. well, actually, all commercial websites have over priced holgas. it’s kind of ridiculous and irritating when you are poor and want one.
i miss playing this song every day and performing it and feeling good after each performance because it’s fucking hard and sounded fantastic.
http://www.esm.rochester.edu/ewe/audio/childsGardenMvt05.m3u
AND we sounded suprisingly similar to this record which is super c00l.
brandonality-deactivated2012052 asked: So it's not so much of an ask but yeah, I definitely agree with that whole post. Like...no one knew in High School, at least not for sure lol, cuz I wasn't telling anyone. But it's intriguing to know how other people think about their sexuality and how they've dealt with it.
Watchi’m pretty sure i’ve posted this before but it’s too good not to share repeatedly.
after years of torment because of my sexuality, i’ve grown used to the harrassment, unkind words, hateful looks and ill mannered gestures; it saddens me on all levels. after all these years, i’m beginning to truly wonder how my life would be up to this point if i had been or had acted straight. would i be happier? probably not. would i be well liked? maybe. would i be at a better...
KING OF THE BEACH.
ANYONE IN THE PORTLAND/VANCOUVER AREA
go check out blue sky gallery this week in northwest portland! i have seven photos hanging and for sale! i’d love to see people checking it out (and possibly buying some of my work). i will be heading down there with some friends on friday and (basically) anyone is welcome!
here is a link to their website where you can find the address and hours: http://www.blueskygallery.org/
:D!
tonight i feel like running to my car and driving until i run out of money and gas. i feel like hiding from everyone and drowning in my own shitty problems (made up, of course). i feel exponentially unhappy; i feel uncontrollable and full of regret. i hate this so much.
i hate feeling unattractive.
i’m tired of reading and hearing about how society kills individualism. its not true. society is dictated by our actions and our actions are dictated by society, but individualism is impossible because of history. everything imaginable has already been done whether you know it or not. therefore, you can’t be an individual on the larger scale and society DID NOT kill individualism.
...
the one thing that i absolutely hate and cannot deal with: being controlled.
new goals starting now:
- two observational drawings per day
- four figure drawings per week
- one self portrait per week
- completed portfolio by either march 1st (if i decide to apply to pnca for fall 2011) or at least december 15th (for spring 2012)
- learn to process and print film
- get accepted to pnca and find scholarships
this is a lot but i feel it is completely attainable and...
