December 2008
so this is christmas?
being all alone?
it makes me sad to think about how much you still love him, how much you always will and how much you miss him. i don’t know if we’re going to be able to work the way i want us to. it kills me every time you cry over him. it kills me every time i hear you say “i love you” to him. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do. but i love you so much, so...
i'm sorry.
i’m fucking this up just like i knew i would and i’m sorry. i know i keep hurting you and it makes me want to die. everything inside of me is pushing me away from you because i’m so afraid of losing you. i’m trying so hard to stop myself from ruining things anymore. i love you so much more than i’ve loved anything and anyone else. i am so fucking scared of losing...
why am i so fucking sad all the time and why do i feel the dneed to drinkk when i’m thiz sadd?! the worsst is over.
“i’ve never thought someone could be as beautiful as you and i am so ridiculously attracted to you. and yes i am being completely serious. i love you! and i can’t believe that you love me that much”
“uh you kissing me is better than that anyways.”
i am so fucking happy. i could never put this kind of happiness into words.
i wish you were okay. i wish i was okay. i wish we were okay when we were away from each other. D:
there's a hole in the ocean that wants to swallow...
i wish i could yell from the top of the tallest building tell everyone about us, telling everyone how much i love you and how happy you make me. i wish everyone would just understand how good this is and how important this is.
sometimes i just can’t figure out what’s wrong with me.
i love this so much. i love love love love love love love love love love love you sooo much.
